back in the game

Hello, It's been too long! You see I've been busy writing my book and have not had much time for my blog. But from now on I'm going to try and keep you up to date with what's happening in my life.

lizzie x

The Snow

Hello,

I was put on the naughty step today. The naughty step is my bed in the kitchen and I'm usually grounded for a few hours. I'm not allowed to roam around the house or sit on the sofa. Mom is angry with me. This morning when I woke I went into Moms room and poked my nose in behind the blind to look out the window. And I saw a CAT on the roof, opposite our house and just went mental, barking and loosing it around the room. Mom jumped up with the shock of it. You see, mom was still asleep and she jumped with the fright, bumped her ahead on the shelf above the bed and knocked a glass of water over onto the floor. She got such a fright that she shouted at me to go out of the room. 'OUT' she said. I've never really got used to the 'NO' command, so I just stood there looking at her thinking, 'Weirdo, what did I do wrong now'. Don't get me wrong, Mom rarely gets angry with me but wow, when she does! I sheepishly left the room until she calmed down. I went downstairs and sat on the sofa by the window. Some little people went by playing with a white ball. It was snowing and there were white balls flying everywhere. I got very excited again. I love the snow and playing with the little people in it. I ran upstairs to Mom, tried my chances at getting back in the room, and gave her that look she loves. Mom calls it, 'the puppy dog look'. Mom was snoozing, so I got up on her bed and licked her face a lot. She woke again and this time laughed. Phew! I got down, went over to the window and tried to tell Mom about the snow. She got up and followed me to the window and pulled the blind up. She smiled and patted me on the head, then went down stairs. Unlike me, Mom can't go out without her breakfast and as a result I follow her everywhere until she takes me out. She tells me to sit and eat, but I'm just too excited to do either. Eventually she says ' You can follow me as much as you like Barkham, we're not going out until I'm good and ready'. This morning I was too excited to sit. All I could think was, 'Hurry up' and that if she was a dog like me, she'd be too laid-back to hang out with and useless at football.

Finally, we got out of the house, but not before Mom had to go back. That's another thing, she always has to go back for something. I waited at the door, had a sniff and then off we went to the park. The park was covered in snow and there were lots of little people playing. I, excitedly ran over to a group of them. They threw some white balls for me for a long time. I ran after all of them, still trying to figure out why the white balls disappeared when I reached them. But after a while I stopped caring. It was a fun game. The little people laughed a lot.

I was so excited I ran around the park playing with everybody and just ignored everything Mom said. She wasn't too happy again. I knew I'd get the naughty step but I couldn't help myself. Mom kept saying 'Lizzie, come here'. I could hear her no problem, but I just couldn't help myself. There was so much fun to be had. I was playing with all the little people. After a long time, Mom began chasing me around the park in the snow, but she couldn't keep up. And I knew I was in trouble, so I just kept running. Eventually one of the little people tricked me, teasing me with a stick and caught me. I could see Mom coming towards me, her angry face. I was a bit scared, put my tail between my legs and sat before she even said the word. She came over, put me on the lead and marched me out of the park, home. She mumbled stuff to me all the way home.

When we got in I was told to go to bed! MOMS! That's it now, no football for a week.

The Big Game

Hello,

The latest shots of me playing football. The first shot is me tackling, and heading the ball off side.

The second is when I went up against three little people defending my team.

They call me the Woofing Winger!

Hello

Today, I got my own football shirt. Mom put it on me and it looks real cool. I don't normally like to wear anything because dogs that wear clothes, in my opinion, are pussy's. But it's the same colour as the England team, white. And it's number 23, the same number as Beckham, except I'm called Barkham. So, as it's football, I don't mind wearing the shirt. Mom has started to call me Lizzie Barkham.

Today I went for my first football practice with the boys from the local primary school. These boys are a bit bigger than the little people I normally play with and they're faster. They like to play with me because it helps them pick up their speed. Well, that's what they say. Tom is my favourite player. I met Tom in the park. Tom is my friend and the one who asked Mom if I could play football with them. Tom wears a white shirt too and sometimes he comes to pick me up and we go practice our tackling skills in the park together. I love Tom and I feel really happy when he comes to pick me up and we're both wearing the same colour shirts going to the park. Tom's a good player but I'm faster than he is at tackling. Tom says that I can help him pick up his speed. We tackle for ever; in and out and under his feet I go. Sometimes he kicks it up in the air for me and I head the ball back across to him. Other times he'll make a run for it and I run around the pitch and intercept him before he gets to the goal. It's so exciting. Nothing excites me more than football. With Tom we practice for a long time.

Today we had a short practice before the game. I couldn't wait to get out on the pitch. It was so amazing. I ran around like a maniac. I tackled and defended well, until another boy managed to get away from me with the ball and head down the pitch like thunder. I wasn't too happy. I had to run along the out side of the field, cut in and out of a couple of other players and then intercept. Just as he was about to hammer it into the goal, I managed to get to the ball and head it off side. You'd have to see it to believe it. Mom cheered, she was so proud. The boy who I intercepted made a dive for it and landed on the ground. 'Spectacular' my Mom said. She said she couldn't believe it, that I could play so well. Tom came over and patted me on the back and the other boys cheered me on. They kept calling my name, Barkham, Barkham. It was cool.

We played for what felt like forever, until I headed the ball and bit my tongue. I was taken off. And I wasn't too happy about that either. My tongue was bleeding bad. Mom tried to tell the coach that it happens sometimes. She says, I nose the ball hard and I bite my tongue and but it heals quickly. The coach wasn't having any of that. After a few minutes the bleeding stopped but he wouldn't let me back on. I kept pulling on the lead to go back on but I knew he was right and I was knackered anyway. The saliva was pouring out of my mouth. We said goodbye to Tom and Mom took me back home.

Tonight I am completely wiped out. I've already had a shower and a two hour sleep. I hate having a shower but Mom says it's got to be done, because when I come in from football, I'm full of muck. And, there's no way she's letting me on that sofa covered in muck. She carries me up to the shower and I stand up in the bath with my pa's on the side and she washes me down with warm water. It's not too bad as it goes, but if she puts that shower head near my face, it's all over. I hate when she does that and I usually mange to jump out. When it's over, she wraps me in a big towel, makes me look like a pussy, laughs at my sad face, then dries me off. When she's done I shake off. I'm only allowed to do that in the bathroom.

I can't wait for the next game!

Hello,

It has been a while! I've been a busy Lizzie as usual. Today was a lonely day. It felt like Mom was away forever. Mom calls this day WORK. On this day she hops out of bed and goes straight downstairs. On this day, we rarely have time for a cuddle until later, when she gets home. A pat is as much as I can hope for. So I can't be bothered to get up. Mom goes downstairs first and then after a while, she either calls me, or curiosity gets the better of me or the smell of toast. OK, it's the toast! This day, Mom takes me to the park because she doesn't have time to take me to the Slopes. And sometimes I'm naughty. Mom calls me BAD GIRL when I'm naughty. The thing is; the park is a bit boring. My Mom brings the ball thrower with us but after a while, I get bored with it. I'm use to, as you know, the slopes, the games, oh the games! Round the Mound, Hide and Seek, The Back-flips, etc.

The park is not exciting. I have to make it exciting. So, If a little person comes through, I run over to them, drop the ball in front of their feet, in the hope that they will throw it for me. They usually do. I do this often and Mom gets angry sometimes because she has to run around after me. And because sometimes, people are in a hurry and don't want to throw the ball for me.

One time I ran out of the park and Mom got very, very angry and I don't know why. That time she made me sit and shouted some gobbledy gook I didn't even understand. BAD GIRL was said a lot. I understood that alright!

Sometimes in the park the little people play football and Mom lets me join in. The little people like playing with me and let me nose the ball into the air. Football is my favorite game. Sometimes I play it for a long time. One time I tackled the ball well and the little person fell over me. I carried on, I was so excited. The little people call me by my name, they know me well and call me the Footballing Dog. FOOTBALL, is another word I know very well. If Mom says 'go get the football', I know what she means. The park is not boring, if the little people are playing football. One time, Mom took me to another park, where there were lots of little people playing football and they let me play with them for a whole game. I was exhausted afterwards!

Another time I got so bored in the park that I searched out a stick. Mom doesn't like me to have sticks but I love them. Sticks really do it for me sometimes. When I first come across a stick, I run round like I've just discovered the best dog bone ever. I bound around, practically bouncing off the ground. Then I drop it in front of Mom to throw it for me. Mom never looks happy about it and sometimes she ignores me and throws the stick in the bin or in the bushes so I can't reach it.

The worse day ever in the park, was when I found a stick and Mom gave in and through it for me. She through it a long way and I bounded up to it. The stick bounced and I landed on the stick and it went into my mouth and hurt me badly. I yelped and yelped. Mom came running over. I was in shock and trembling all over. Mom tried to cuddle me. Then she picked me up and put me in the car. Next thing I know, I'm in the dog hospital and a big person in a white coat is looking down my throat. I am afraid now, very afraid. The man, picks me up and takes me down stairs. Mom calls me petal and tells me I'm a good girl and that I'm going to be OK. It felt like Mom was gone forever that day. I had a long sleep and don't remember much else.

After that day, I couldn't go off the lead for what seemed like, forever too. My throat was very sore. I had to have liquid food and that was sooooooo gross. Mom said NO STICKS ever again. And I always know when she means business!

I'm not mad about sticks anymore and I don't them out now. And if I see one, Mom reminds me of that day!

Happy New Year

Hello,

Christmas was ok. I was unsettled in myself. I don't know why, but I think I missed Mom. Portmouth was good. I like seeing my Dads family. They're very nice to me and I love playing with the little people and love the walks by the sea, but I miss Mom.

Dad lives in the country now not too far from Whitstable. I don't really like it there. I like the seaside. Dad takes me out for walks but I just want to go back home again. I hate the gun shots. There's always gunshots in the country. They make me nervous and there's no beach, no pebbles and no long grass to play hide and seek in. I love my Dad, but I am always happy to get home.

Dad dropped me home after Christmas. Mom wasn't there. He dropped me in the door and patted me and went on his way. The house was quiet, but I knew Mom would come home soon. I went into the kitchen and had a drink of water and ate some food, that she had left for me in my bowl. Then I went and sat in the window, did some people watching and waited for Mom to come home.

A while later, Mom's car pulled up. I always know when she's coming home, because I know the the sound of her car. Mom always waves at me from inside the car and I get very excited. I wag my tail and my bum a lot and I can't stop myself. This time though, I fell off the back of the sofa between the window and the sofa. I got a bit of a shock. I got over over excited and slipped but I didn't hurt myself. When Mom came in the door, I ran to her and jumped all over her and gave her lots of kisses. I was so happy to see her and so excited, because I knew where she was going to take me, as soon as she was ready. The Slopes, Yahoo! Mom always takes me to the slopes, when I get home from a holiday. It's awesome really. On the way there in the car, I can't sit still at all. I jump from the back of the car, into the front seat and then from the front seat into the back again. I just can't wait to get there. And then I go mental on the slopes and Mom laughs a lot at me because I go so mental. I just want to do everything all at once. And I do. She does everything with me. Pebble throwing, ball throwing, running through the long grass and most of all, another favourite game of mine, Round The Mound.

Mom names it that, because it's a little hill on the slopes. When we get to Round The Mound, I run and I hide at the very top of it, behind some long grass. I peek out, just popping my head above the long grass. Mom pretends to throw a stone and then I run round the mound up into the slopes and back again. Then we do the same again, until I'm out of breath. Sometimes I run round the mound, down onto the beach and run straight into the sea for a swim and a drink. Mom tells me not to drink the sea water but I can't help it. I then run back up into the slopes, behind the mound and we do it all over again, about a zillion times. Mostly until Mom's arm starts to fall off or until she's exhausted too.

When I got back the other day we went and played Round The Mound. I had a great time and felt very happy to be home. When we got back home, we had lunch together and then I had a super sleep on our new sofa. I'm not supposed to really get on the new sofa but Mom puts my blanket on there so I can get on it. Mom's cool!